is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
