Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
