chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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