ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize