How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
