..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
