I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
