She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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