i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
