go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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