We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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