giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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