I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I want to fling myself into the sun
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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