Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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