Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
