i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
