Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Someone signed my nipple.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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