do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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