new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
