wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
