My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
