maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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