He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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