so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
