"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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