Say something about gay babies.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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