can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
