I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
