wrigley field is MILF paradise
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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