her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wish there were birth control emojis
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
