Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
