If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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