i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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