Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
