no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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