Kiss
Puke
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize