Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
