You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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