it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
