beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
