On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
