So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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