There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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