apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
