I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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