hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
