i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
