Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
