i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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