i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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