We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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