I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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